This morning I’m as excited as a kid on the first day of school. I’m starting my new call as Pastor of First Presbyterian Church, Kingsville! My living room is full of boxes stacked to be put in the car. Boxes of books to be put on the shelves in my new office. My “to do” list is written with notes about things not to forget on this first day. My car is full of gas, ready for the morning commute in the cold. I haven’t quite figured out what I’m wearing yet, but something will jump out at me I’m sure. Once I finally make up my mind to shed these comfy flannels.
Mostly my heart is ready for this new adventure. I think the new year is a perfect time to start a new season. And I’ve made some new space in preparation for the energy, focus, and presence it will take.
This past weekend we had plans to go to the hill country with some couples to celebrate the new year celebration. We’ve celebrated with these couples for 15 years or so. I look forward to the time spent laughing and sitting around the fire. I look forward to the comfort of their company.
But, this year it was not meant to be. The day before we were to leave Tom came down with a terrible respiratory cold. He was sweet and said he’d try to “grind through” but it was clear where he needed to stay was in bed.
Once we made the decision not to go my mind went into gear as to what I could do to occupy the time. I hate to miss anything and it’s my nature to worry about what I’m missing and so, in an effort to head that off at the pass, I decided to pack the books I wanted to take to my new office and clean out the closets. Make some space.
Oh my. Pulling out and loading the boxes was physically taxing but that was just the beginning. What was I thinking! The real challenge was when I pulled out boxes and boxes of old pictures to go through, sort, and organize. Pictures dating all the way back to when Tom’s dad was a baby up through our two precious granddaughters. Although I’ve realized most of those pictures are on my phone. Why don’t I print pictures anymore!
What started out to be a housekeeping chore became a poignant walk down memory lane and in many ways a reacquainting with my history and family. It was exhausting and exhilarating, comical and sad all at once. So many people who I’ve loved and who have loved me. So many life events, long ago forgotten brought to life once more. I re-watched my daughter grow up through these pictures. Re-watched Tom’s and my courtship and 43 years of marriage. He staying as handsome as ever. Me, through a whole series of hair colors and styles (some of them horrendous!) and my body changing from one of a young girl to… older woman (yuck). What a wonderful life we have had and are having.
At one point it became overwhelming, even backbreaking. At one point I wish I hadn’t started this silly quest. Talk about grinding through! I was past the point of no return though as I had the whole house involved with this endeavor. Boxes everywhere. Piles of pictures throughout. I’m not a linear person, usually work in a circular manner, or maybe whirlwind is more accurate.
What a gift this journey has been. With a significant amount of sadness I have been re-minded how quickly life passes. With a significant amount of regret I was convicted of how often I rushed through the moment in self-criticism or unmet expectation. With a significant amount of gratitude I re-membered how much love and joy I have and still am experiencing. With a significant amount of hope I am encouraged that the joy only continues to grow with each day as there is another opportunity with each sunrise to live life to the fullest and to show love in any and every way I can.
And, this morning, while it is not completely done, our life in pictures has found a new home and the next time anyone in the family wants to take a sentimental journey it will be a more well “paved” one. We’ll know where to go to look.
One thing I discovered in this process was that I have now made some space in my heart for this next season. I hadn’t even realized how, most of the time, I just jump from one season to the next without really ever reflecting on all I have experienced. In the midst of shuffling photographs and making meals I did just that this weekend. I didn’t even realize how much I needed it. I’m reminding of the shepherd forcing the sheep to lay down in green pastures so that they can process and digest all the grass they have ingested while grazing. This weekend I was “forced” to reflect and process. And it was good! This morning I’m fully awake to this new season. I can’t wake to make some more memories. And my new year resolution? Well, to, hopefully, be present each and every step of the way.
My prayer for you is that you will give yourself the gift of making time and space to reflect on the goodness of your life. It’s a great encourager!
Something to chew on…